Overheard
SH: OK, so here’s the plan. Jim, you are going to helicopter in the bailout money to the car companies. I’m cutting a deal with Ontario so their seat count goes up.
JF: I just heard the carcos are not going to be making any cars in January.
SH: Does that matter?
JF: Well don’t you think people might notice?
SH: Jim, the last thing we want the carcos doing is making cars. They make crappy cars no one wants to buy. No, the point here is to make sure all the people who work for the carcos get paid. Because they all live in “vote rich Ontario”.
JF: Yes Prime Minister; but they all vote NDP.
SH: Well, yes they do. But if we don’t bail them out then the “vote rich Ontario media” will say we lack compassion and we’ll lose the next election. Especially as I have decided to give Ontario 21 more seats in the Commons.
JF: I was wondering about that Prime Minister.
SH: No choice there Jim. Dalton McGinty said he’d let slip his Jackal to kick my ass if I didn’t.
JF: But, Prime Minister, I thought the Jackal was already signed up to kick ass for the Count. Seats or no seats.
SH: I heard that too; but I just can’t afford to take any chance in “vote rich Ontario”.
JF: What else do you want in the budget?
SH: I’m not really sure. The Count is dropping a shopping list off just before Christmas.
JF: A deficit?
SH: Absolutely. And a good big one Jim. People in “vote rich Ontario” think deficits are compassionate. Same with the Maritimes and Quebec – and speaking of Quebec, make damn sure we have lots of money for the Trois-Rivières Arts Festival. In fact, it would be a darned good idea to get some federal sponsorships going in Quebec.
JF: Anything else?
SH: Well talk to Kenny. We need a vismin media strategy. You know, full page ads in vismin papers, lots of ribbon cuttings, cultural centers – maybe do something on the family reunification front. And, I know, let’s give every one tax credits for carbon credits – kick start the CPC Green Revolution.
JF: Plus, I assume another point off the GST, an extra $50 a month for the childcare beer and popcorn fund…
SH: There you go Jim. Basically piss away about 20 billion and we’ll look pretty damned compassionate in “vote rich Ontario”.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
They don’t think deficits are compassionate, they think that Keynes has been proven right.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I suspect Lord Keynes would be shorting the USD for all he was worth at the moment – and, if Canada runs a deficit for no good reason and gives private companies tons o’dough – he’d short the Canuck buck as well.
December 18th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Just to confirm, though, this is the “hey, let’s have a town hall to figure out the economy” conservatives who are lead by the mastermind with the BA in economics from a middling university which is apparently better than being a Harvard professor, right? I mean I am following this stuff correctly, right?
December 18th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I am extremely shocked and disappointed in our Prime Minister and Conservative government. I just heard on the news that Harper plans a $20- to $30-billion deficit for the 2009/2010 fiscal year. Even he (Harper) has admitted that he is “violating his conservative beliefs.” Disgusting. Conservatisim is officially dead in Canada.
December 18th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
One penny of corporate welfare to crony fed clients is the end of me calling this a “conservative” party/government.
December 18th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
“Just to confirm, though, this is the “hey, let’s have a town hall to figure out the economy” conservatives who are lead by the mastermind with the BA in economics”
yes as opposed to??...deadly silence…we live in a kleptocratic political system with agents players and enablers…this transends vulgar partisan labeling.
December 19th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Err…a Phd from Harvard, you ideological blindered doofus! ;-)
[See, I did a smily face. Can’t snap at me.]