I had hoped to bring you a little more fine detail about Cherie Blair’s menstrual cycle this week — I had provisional charts mapped out and so on. But at the last moment I came over a little queasy. Obviously all of us need to know precisely when she is ovulating, in case we should wish to impregnate her while her husband is away lecturing at Yale or bringing peace to the Middle East. But my nerve failed me. This is a personal failure and should not reflect badly on the lovely Cherie. She is believed to be the first inhabitant of 10 Downing Street to have shared with the electorate the delicate comings and goings of activity in her fallopian tubes and beyond, and the first to have called Princess Margaret a stuck-up old slapper; for this stuff alone we should thank her profusely. She has greatly added to the mirth and gaiety of the nation. She is one of many dispossessed former New Labour luminaries trying desperately to force shut the coffin lid on the regime they brought into life, the cadaver inside the coffin still palely bleating that he’s not actually dead. The various hideous autobiographies and diary excerpts published in the last year or so seem to take as a given that it’s all over and that Gordon Brown’s administration is akin to the discarded tail of a sand lizard, twitching for a few moments as if possessed of sentient life but in fact devoid of purpose and hope. Just the vestigial nerve endings doing their very temporary stuff, disconnected from the centre. ron liddle, the spectator
Now this is just a guess but I have to bet Mr. Liddle is not terrifically impressed with Cherie Blair’s Memoirs.
Written by jay on May 15th, 2008 with 2 comments.
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Inspired by the Lying Jackal’s rather overreaching offer to debate Mark Steyn one of my fabulous commentors, EBD, thought he would offer to sleep with Neve Campbell.
I fear, so far, Ms. Campbell has declined. Fear of sexual ecstasy? Perhaps. Or is it that famous people don’t fool around with distinctly unfamous people? Or is it the old, the talent doesn’t sleep with the hacks rule (save for a bit of roughish trade).
But Neve, just because my commentor - whose identity is as carefully protected as Jadewarr’s - may be obscure does not make his offer anything less than a valid expression of lust. He’d like to get lucky just as much as the Lying Jackal would like to get famous.
So I am tossing in some inducements Neve.
First, we know famous, talented, beautiful people are a bit busy, so it can be a quickie. Ten minutes and my guy will be done, Hell, three will probably do the trick. Just so long as he can film the action so he can show his friends. (Don’t worry, max, maybe three friends.)
Second, I am personally willing to pay the day rate at any Ramada Inn in Canada. No matter where…we’re talking top of the line poly sheets, those cool free shampoo bottles….
And, as an extra special, only for you Neve, inducement a special “toy” or outfit from the very classy EdenFantasys website. (Max value $22.95)
Now I don’t want to sound desperate for your attention Neve. And, hey, this isn’t for me. But, please, make EBD happy for maybe three minutes of his life. Let him brag to his friends…I mean, really, what’s a sordid little tryst captured on grainy cellphone cam to you?
But if you don’t do this I’ll know, and my readers will know, you’re a frigid bitch.
Written by jay on May 15th, 2008 with 11 comments.
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Faisal “The Fingerwagger” Joseph too cowardly to debate Steyn
What a pansy. I’m listening to Steyn now and sure enough, Joseph crapped out at the last minute. five feet of fury
Ex-Crown prosecutor lacks the balls to debate ex-DJ (and worldwide content provider).
Wuss.
(Sound of coconuts…..)
Written by jay on May 15th, 2008 with 7 comments.
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